


Deadly

by MrsAlderaan



Category: Original Work
Genre: Camp Nanowrimo, Gen, Seven Deadly Sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsAlderaan/pseuds/MrsAlderaan
Summary: Every 100 years, the seven deadly sins meet in hell in order to battle to see which will be humanity's most prevalent sin.





	Deadly

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written on Day 7 of my 30 Days, 30 Stories Camp NaNoWriMo challenge. The prompt is the story summary. Enjoy and thanks for reading!  
> ~MA

Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, and Greed: the seven deadly sins, but did you know that there is, in fact, an eighth deadly sin? Yes, my lovelies, my name is Deceit, and I am the greatest of all the deadly sins, but my true danger lies in that you don’t know that I am one.

“Ah, hell! I do so love the weather this time of year.” I announced to the table of my siblings as we waited for Sloth to arrive, as per usual. I wiped my forehead. It really is warm here. Not used to this weather, I moved to the thermostat on the wall and turned it down from ‘extra crispy’ to ‘burnt is the new tan’.

Gluttony barely stopped munching between fists full of pizza to speak, and, when he did, it was with a full mouth and a big gulp in his hand. “Come off it, Deceit. We know you hate the damned weather round these parts. Why don’t you just go back to your little condominium in D.C.?” He grumbled in a watery baritone as sauce dribbled down the folds of his neck.

“Do clean yourself up, brother!” Pride piped in, pulling an embroidered handkerchief from the pocket of his pinstriped suit and moving to wipe down our brother to his right. “The seven deadly sins are known throughout the world, and, when somebody buys into the story, you are one of the ones representing it.”

I shook my head woefully. Pride has just never understood that Gluttony does look the part, but, before I could cut off the upcoming monologue, Wrath interrupted in an increasingly loud voice, working from a normal voice to a shout within seconds. I half expected him to bust out a megaphone if he felt like he needed to get louder. “Shut up, Pride! I’m sick of hearing about you at every old man’s funeral. You’re always the reason why people cut ties with each other. You’ve got it so good. You know how hard it is to get somebody to feel real wrath? True anger? The likes of which most have never felt!?”

“Oh, Wrath, you have it so easy compared to me. In just the last century, I have lost so much influence!” Lust broke into the conversation with her dulcet tones and swaying countenance. She pushed her chair back and crossed her legs in a way that hiked up her dress in just that way that every man took an interest in- when it wasn’t your sister. “I used to drive every man wild with passion, and even some women, too. Now, I have a whole industry created in my honor. Oh, how I imagined that I would reign supreme with the rise of the internet pron industry, but lust is never on the table any longer.”

“Hey, your kink is not my kink, Lust.” Envy interrupted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She was already looking a little green in the gills about the direction the conversation had been going. If you didn’t know, Envy is one of the middle children- along with Sloth. She never did get what she wanted growing up with dear old Daddy.

Greed sat directly to my left, twiddling a gold coin back and forth over his knuckles. His smile was rat-like, a gold tooth at the front of his mouth glinted in the room’s light. “Let’s just fight already. I haven’t ruled since the crusades!”

“Must we begin without Sloth again?” I asked, outraged that we would even consider leaving one of our siblings out of the proceedings. “The poor man is probably just around the corner! Why don’t we just call?”

Wrath rolled his eyes and shouted, “Then do it already!” He tossed his phone at me, and I moved as if I were trying to catch it. When it finally clattered to the ground, Wrath began to turn red, his veins began to bulge out of his neck, and he breathed in heavily as if he were about to blow his top. “Fuck you, Deceit. I know that was on purpose!”

“Just gimme the damn phone!” Greed yelled. “I’ll make the call.”

Pride whipped out his brand new Samsung Galaxy S7. “All of you just cool it. I’ll take care of this. It is what the older sibling is for, right?”

“Ah, to be the oldest sibling. To think that you were the only child for even a short time! It must’ve been heaven.” Envy sighed longingly.

As if the mention of the other place summoned him, the door to the room squeaked open, and our father marched in dressed to the nines in a suit very much resembling Pride’s own. Of course, our father’s suit needed to be slightly modified- he did have a pointy red tail that stuck out the back. “Hey, there, kiddos! Are ya ready for the big battle to decide who’s gonna be the head honcho around here for the next century?”

“Still waitin’ on Sloth, pops.” Gluttony answered, still chowing down, but, now, he was working on chicken wings.

Our father chuckled at us. “Sloth is always late, so I told him to be at the arena yesterday. He’s just arrived. Come.”

When we made it into the arena, everybody took up their weapon of choice. Pride took his halberd, Envy hefted her giant Swiss army knife (which is missing the toothpick attachment), Wrath grabbed his flanged mace, Gluttony took up his giant Swiss army knife (with added fork attachment), Lust snapped her whip, Sloth lifted an anvil, and Greed prepared his jewel encrusted longsword. Father, knowing that I always had a trick up my sleeve, watched me closely as I took up a giant pen. Then, I looked at my father and shrugged. “The pen is mightier than the sword after all.”

The battle began immediately after my one liner. It was intense and bloody, but, finally, I won, defeating all of my siblings in one fell swoop of my mighty pen as I wrote two simple words above the line that was drawn in the sand.

The End.


End file.
